2) Real Diplomacy recognizes that sometimes, in order to get the other guy to give you what you want, you need to make concessions. I'm suggesting making a huge concession, to wit the recognition that Iran has a nuclear program are there is nothing we can do about it short of nuking Iran ourselves. We have alternated asking Iran nicely to shut it down and blustering meaningless threats that if Iran doesn't shut it down, we'll do something unspecific and bad.
3) There is a reason I'm in the Army, not the State Department. If you let me sit down with a buck sergeant in the Iranian Army, we'd settle this in an afternoon. And probably still have time for a barbeque.
4) I've read a lot of blogger opinions. Anyone who can't tell the difference between SCIRI and al-Sadr and correctly identify which one is pro-Iranian, you shouldn't bother reading.