26 November 2006

Today's Definition of Loser

Today's definition of loser is not something I normally like to spend my Sundays mediating upon or writing about, but when I called Jen this morning, she told me the truck had been broken into.

They smashed out the driver's side window to let themselves in.

The losers stole a leather jacket which was plainly visible hanging in the back, and this is likely what they were initially after.

They also jacked Jen's very nice Rayban sunglasses. Since they are losers, they did not realize that they were stealing prescription sunglasses which aren't wearable by very many people.

They jacked a camera. They probably have no idea the value of the camera, but it is Federal Government property and worth in excess of $10,000 dollars, which makes them felons. CID may be involved in doing the rounds of the pawn shops and whatnot.

They did steal Jen's purse, with usable credit cards (at least for a couple hours) but couldn't think of anything better to do with them than buy gas and twinkies. The cards have since been cancelled and reported stolen and the charges were reversed. We do not buy twinkies for felons.

I doubt, given the immense skill and criminal acuity involved in this heist, that more complex identity theft is within their reach, but we are taking the appropriate precautions.

But the defining thing about these losers is this:

They stole a $5.99 faux leopard print dice bag with probably 20 or 30 bucks worth of dice. Economic value: Nil. Practical use to anyone who isn't a roleplayer: Nil. Practical use to a roleplayer: Are you joking? Stolen dice would never act right. Ewww!

I can just see some gansta[tm] shooting craps with "da boys" with small pink dice. I do not think this enhances your "street cred".

The thing is, though, is that silly little bag full of dice is the first thing I bought Jen as a present. I hadn't even proposed yet, I don't think. Maybe I had. It was the same place, though.

I like buying Jen stuff because it really doesn't matter how expensive it is, she goes 'squeeee' if it is right for her. And I like making her happy. It's really that simple. Especially since we are seperated so far, and get to see each other so rarely, I like knowing that every time she goes for some random number generators she might think of me and smile. You know, cheesy little newlywed stuff that makes people roll their eyes.

Insurance will cover most of it, and the dice are already replaced. But the real value?


Anonymous nerdasaaurus said...

Somehow "losers" isn't a vile enough ephithet for common thieves. Our language has been inflated by hype and hyperbole for so long that the words don't mean enough.

Nevertheless, I suggest that you make them REAL losers by praying for them. You and your wife together, should lift these people before the Lord. He'll take care of matters one way or t'other.

And may I submit some Scripture for you both on this Lord's day? This is something that Jen may find comforting. Read Joel Chapter 1 especially verse 4 to see a curse. Then read on to Chapter 2 to see the blessing ...especially contrast 1:4 with 2:25. But Chapter 2 is well worth reading. Verse 32 is just a sweet desert. Hold fast to those promises.

1:45 AM  
Blogger A Soldier's Girl said...

One of the things that I was most grateful for was the fact that you did not yell at me.

You simply reassured me that I wasn't a total screwup and that it would be all right. This was not a tool for you to beat into my head that I'm a loser and incapable of actually not screwing everything up by just breathing.

8:38 AM  
Blogger Oscagne said...

In taking my CJ classes, the first thing I was told by an investigator is this: We don't catch the smart criminals, only the stupid ones. But this isn't as bad as it sounds, because MOST criminals are terminally stupid. If they were smart, they wouldn't need to be criminals.

9:28 PM  
Blogger sophia said...

Bummer, bummer, bummer...

How annoying that they would take things like her dicebag, but somehow, I know she will think of you and smile even without it.

1:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry about the loss of the dice and stuff. Perhaps this is the motivation needed to NOT leave valuables in your vehicle..ever.?
I make sure that I leave nothing in my truck I can't live without. That means if they go to the bother of breaking in, you'll get nothing more than a bunch of crap from behind the seat and the loose change in the cup holder.

Hang in there!!

9:23 PM  

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